I Want You to Watch

*gasp*

(A dream… Damn it, not the same one again…)

I’ll never be free of this… At this rate, I…

It’s obviously number two. It smells completely different.

Huh…?! It’s not number one?!

Excellent answer, Mr. President. The premium tea is number two. Number one is sold at the supermarket for 100 yen per pack.

Whaaat? Number one tasted the best to my pauper taste buds… Maybe God made it so only the poor could drink it…

D-Don’t say that! I thought that one tasted pretty good too…

*sigh…*

(No wonder it was so noisy in here. Why is he still doing this? There’s no point…)

Ah, Liguang…

What is it? Why are you staring at me?

I wasn’t doing that!

…Hey, Liguang. Listen…

……

You did a tea tasting competition at your place when you were a kid, right? I heard you got all of the questions right, and the adults thought you were amazing…

I don’t remember any of that.

W-Well, it happened! So…c-c-c-could you, um…give me some tips…?

*sigh…*

Hey, hold on! Don’t just ignore me! *grab*

…What? Don’t grab onto my clothes.

…Watch.

Huh?

The show! Watch the show! Just do it…

If nobody’s else is gonna watch it, I at least want you to!

……

Tch, like hell I will.

What’s wrong with him…?

Oh, there you are, Chief… Here’s my weekly report. Sorry, I mainly just talked about practicing for the show.

Thanks! That’s totally fine. Sorry, were you looking for me?

Yeah… I didn’t know we had this kinda place here.

I just wanted to get some fresh air. Oh, do you want some coffee, Renga-kun? I’ll pour a cup for you!

Are you sure? Th-Tha…

Thank you!!!

(He’s still a little nervous to say it, but I’m glad that he’s giving it his all!)

Phew… So you’re gonna be on Celebrity Ranking Royale tomorrow. It’s gonna be aired live, that’s kinda scary.

Yeah… No, I mean, I don’t really think so…

…No, I do. I’m really nervous. So…th-thank you for the coffee.

Well… I am worried, but I also kinda feel ready for it. I’ve worked harder for this than I have for anything else in my life… I can finally get about 90% of Sakujiro’s questions right.

So even if I lose, I don’t feel like I’ll regret anything.

(He’s really put in the work… Now that I look at him, he actually seems kinda calm about this.)

(It must be because he’s grown so much.)

We’ll all be watching from mahorova! You’re gonna do amazing!

Haha… Thanks. I don’t think Liguang’s gonna watch, though.

Don’t worry! I promise I’ll make him watch, even if I have to scruff him like a cat!

Yeah… Y’know, you say some weird things sometimes.

…When I was training under Sakujiro, it reminded me of when my grandmother made me take etiquette lessons when I was a kid.

I couldn’t keep up with them, so they kicked me out halfway through, but…I wondered if my grandmother would be happy if I did well.

Renga-kun…

Ah, but now it feels like I get to try again, which is great. I wanna get closer to becoming the Nishizono Renga that my grandmother wanted me to be… Nothing would make me happier.

……

I think Reika-san was happy with you just the way you were. But…I’m sure she’d be really proud of who you’ve become.

Yeah. That’d be nice.

…What kind of person was Reika-san?

Hmm… She was strict. She was nice when I first met her, but…

(“First met her”? So she wasn’t always living with him?)

We’d always get into arguments. I think that never being acknowledged made me more stubborn. I basically stopped talking to her for a few years before she passed.

Do you remember the thing with our suitcases at the airport?

That day, I was rushing home from some work overseas because I heard that she wasn’t doing well.

(…! That makes sense. I guess that’s why he was in such a hurry.)

I went straight to the hospital, but…she had already lost consciousness. When my father told me just how bad her condition was, my mind went completely blank.

…They told me that she might still be able to hear and encouraged me to say something to her, but I just couldn’t.

……

My grandmother was strict and strong, and she always had perfect posture… But when I saw her in the hospital, she was so small and frail… I didn’t even recognize her…

…I was scared.

I wanted to tell her so much. “Thank you,” “I’m happy you were around to raise me,” “I’m sorry I couldn’t meet your expectations”…

…But I couldn’t work up the courage. So I left the room and just stood around in the hallway.

If I could go back in time, I’d run up to her and say all of it… I’d tell her “Thank you, I’m sorry… I love you.”

“I regret being such a bad grandson.”

(Maybe it’s presumptuous of me to say this but… I think I understand.)

(I remember when I was close to losing Kafka a long time ago, and I couldn’t say anything either…)

…Everyone knows that all life comes to an end and that we need to say goodbye someday, but we tend to forget that while we’re still alive.

It’d be great if we could all live without regrets, but…that’s really hard to do.

…Yeah.

I almost lost Kafka once. That made me realize that no amount of science and technology could preserve a human life forever.

Kafka almost…? I see. It’s good that he’s doing okay now.

Y’know… I’m not really on good terms with my father either. But I don’t want that to lead to more regrets.

So…when the game show’s over, I’m gonna tell him how I feel.

There’s a lot of stuff that I never was able to say to him…

Mhm! That’s a great idea!

I’m sure you’ll be able to get through to him just the way you are right now. You’ve grown so much as a person.

…Yeah. Just the way I am…

That’s what…I need to be…