The Hateful Five1
Hahahaha! Oh, Yumenosuke-san! You’re so sharp-minded, good at everything, and funny to boot!
We’re so happy to be spending time with you in mahorova like this.
I’m pleased to make the acquaintance of lovely ladies such as yourself. As I am currently at my vacation home in Switzerland, I can only meet you through the metaverse, but…summer vacation is already about halfway over.
Let us engage in a hearty discussion on how we can make the most out of our remaining vacation time!
I agree! What are your plans, Yumenosuke-san?
I finished most of my assigned homework in the first week, so I plan to focus my efforts on preparing for the open campus event at the end of the month.
Oh, how wonderful! We must follow your example.
Yes, we must. All I’ve been doing recently is watching Lash Collect.
Lash Collect… Ah, are you talking about Eyelash Collection? Unfortunately, I am unfamiliar with the eyelash world, so I’m very behind on its happenings.
But as I recall, Uncle Gannosuke, you won the grand prize on the most recent Lash Collect with the most points by far. Isn’t that right?
Indeed. I also won the audience award.
It is very nice to meet you, ladies. I’m Yumenosuke’s uncle, Kuraku Gannosuke.
Ah, so that’s why you were standing next to Yumenosuke-san this whole time… You’re that famous eyelash artist, correct?
Congratulations on your win! I found your work to be the most bold, colorful, and indulgent of them all!
Yes, and I found it to be slightly different to your usual work!
Interesting… Did you perhaps have a change of heart recently?
Well, I had a once-in-a-lifetime encounter in Shodoshima the other day. He lit a flame of imagination within me.
Oh! Incredible. I am very curious who this person was—
President Kuraku!
What is it? You’re being too loud.
We have a problem! Please look at this article!
Hm…?! “From high school students to ward mayors”…?!
This information has not been made public yet, but according to my mother who works in the press bureau, the new mayors are…!
The lowly rank 1 students who were suspected to be involved in the explosion at the old school building?! Ah, I feel faint…!
A-Are you alright, Yumenosuke-san?! You’re shockingly pale…
Kh…!
(The Ward 0 mayor chose them knowing how much political power ward mayors have?! And it’s clear that this appointment was made without laying a foundation first… How foolish! I shall not allow this to happen!)
(And according to “Kuraku Yumenosuke Life Plan Chapter 3: Ward Mayor Arc,” I should have been appointed…!)
(How on EARTH did those barbarian bombers behind the old school building explosion get appointed without lifting a finger?! I will not forgive this! My perfect life plan… How dare you… How DARE you…?!)
Are you alright, Yumenosuke-kun?
Ahem. Excuse me. I have something to deal with, so I will be taking my leave.
……
The press release is out, everyone!
Mphh?! Sheriously?! I wan’ shee!
Akuta, stay seated when you’re eating.
This house-moving2 soba’s not half bad.
I agree. My mother is very particular about Japanese food, and I’m certain that even she would enjoy this.
*slurping*
Hrmm… “Fwive hwigh shchool shtudentsh…”
Ah, may I read it for you? You should all focus on your meal…
Good idea. Give him the press release, guys.
Thank you, Yachiyo-kun. Go ahead!
“Five high school students have been selected as HAMA ward mayors for wards 5 through 9.”
*slurping*
“Stating that he wishes to incorporate the values of today’s youth, who will lead us into the future, into the HAMA tourism industry…”
“Ward 0 Mayor and HAMA Tours President Oguro Kafka proudly announces five high school students to be the new mayors of wards 5 through 9.”
Hm…
“They will soon hold their first tour. Similar to the well-received tour conducted by the mayors of wards 0 through 4, known collectively as R1ze, the new mayors will also present a hospitality live show.”
“In addition, an inauguration ceremony will be held on the first day of the tour period, and the tour package is expected to contain a variety of events.”
“This tour will be held at their school, one of the symbols of HAMA…”
Damn, this soba’s good.
“Hama Asunaro High School. It will be held in collaboration with the school’s open campus event.”
“The tour can be enjoyed not only by prospective students and their parents, but by the general public as well, so everybody is encouraged to attend.”
Thasshall!
It feels like everything’s coming together now that there’s a press release. It’s really motivating.
A hospitality live show…! Aw yeah, I’m getting SUPER friggin’ hyped, brooooo!
Stop shaking the table, brat.
Ah, sorry about him. I’ll make sure to tell him off later.
But y’know, I, um…get why you’re all excited, but you gotta think about the details. The tour concept is important.
…Con…cept…
How’s that comin’ along, Idiotake-san, sir?
Whuh?
The leader needs to come up with the tour concept. Have you started thinking about it yet?
H-Hold on, kids. I know that you’re all beginners who don’t know the first thing about coming up with a tour plan.
So if you’re having trouble, I suppose I wouldn’t mind offering you a ha—
Actuallyyyy, I did come up with something!
WHA?!
Looks like your senpai angle didn’t work on him.
At least you don’t have as much work to do now, Renga-san.
Ah, um… Y-Yeah.
Once you all finish eating, we can get back to moving in!
Okaaaay.
Alright, looks like I’m rooming with Akuta and Kiroku.
Our room name’s KOIL… Let’s come up with a cool KOIL pose later, guys.
…Mm…
Are you okay with your room, Ushio-kun?
Yeah, I’m okay with rooming with Muneuji. But I do have a problem with the room name.
“Neigh Gang”… Interesting. We should come up with a Neigh Gang pose later.
(All of these old room names are so weird…)
We should bring in our luggage. Let’s go, guys.
Mm…
……
Why are you glaring at your phone? Are you done unpacking?
The elevator’s taken, so I’m waiting for it to be free. I gotta egosurf in the meantime.
Ooh, found some slander. Aaaand, report.
Hm…
You think what I’m doing is dumb, don’t you? Well, I think so too, so it’s whatever.
I don’t think it’s dumb. I’ll help you.
…You’re weirdly curious about this.
(Ushio-kun, he’s not curious, he’s just trying to be nice…)
Uu-chan, can you move out of the way? I want to…put this down over there.
Woah! That’s huge!
Impressive… It doesn’t seem to be a piece of furniture.
Amazing, right? They’re all gifts from Muneuji’s family.
Wow! Expensive sweets…and even household appliances!
Looks like won’t have to worry about buying stuff for a while. There are plenty of snacks for tea time with you too, Chief.
My food radar went off… So here I am, from the second floor!
What are you, a dog?
Can I take some of these gold leaf castellas? Ooh, if I get a buncha this gold leaf, does that mean I’ll be rich?
Ahaha, I’m not sure about that.
What about your family, Akuta? Did they congratulate you on becoming mayor?
Nah, my uncle’s always busy workin’, so I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet. *munch, munch…*
Your uncle?
Yeah, his name’s Isotake Taiji. He’s an anime director. He takes care of me.
Oh…
I heard he’s a pretty famous animator. Well, even if he wasn’t, anime’s a pretty hard industry to be in.
(Wow…! We landed on a difficult topic, but Ten-kun skipped past it to continue the conversation so gracefully…!)
(Come to think of it, I remember seeing that Akuta-kun’s uncle signed his guardian consent form for the study trip.)
(I didn’t wanna pry at the time, but… I see now.)
Oh, Akuta! There you are! I was looking for you!
Mrm?
I-It’s about your tour concept! I figured you were just trying to act cool in front of everyone earlier, so… Well, I get how that feels, but…
It’s not easy to come up with one! I really think I should help you as the Morning Team lead—
Nah, I’m good. But thanks for bein’ so nice, Renga-san.
Oh! Nanaki and Kiroku are here too.
Alright, Asu High kids, listen up! We’re gonna have a meeting here tomorrow!
Urgh…
I’m gonna present a tour concept so awesome that it’s gonna blow the socks offa all those dudes who made fun of us!
I… I can…give you some tips…
(I’ll make sure to comfort him later.)
Footnotes
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A reference to The Hateful Eight (2015). ↩
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It’s a traditional Japanese custom to gift soba to your neighbors after you move into a new house. ↩