School of Punk¹

<⁠IT’S YOU! WHY ARE YOU HEEEEEERE?!⁠>

Dude, what are you doing?! Your mic!

<⁠*gasp…* I forgot! Sorry about your eardrums, everyone! Mic goin’ off!⁠>

What the hell are you doing? We were having an emotional moment.

Our guests are watching.

G-Guys… Look up…!

Huh…?

*gasp*

The…egg?! Ew! Why the fuck is it here?!

Did it swim all the way here from Shodoshima? What incredible willpower.

Ah… I’m so…happy…it’s alive…!

Hold on, guys. The timer!

I-I-I-It’s almost at zero! This isn’t good! This isn’t good, dudes!

If it causes an explosion like the one at the old school building when the countdown reaches zero…

If it does that…

Things are gonna get serious.

Mm…

…We need…to do…something…

W-We have to explain it to them. Then we just can have them evacuate, right?

What are we gonna say? “Sorry everyone, an alien egg is gonna explode soon?” Nobody’s gonna believe us.

Are you 12? At least come up with another idea if you don’t like mine.

And if you can’t come up with any good ideas then back off, Panda.

This is no time to argue. There must be something… If we can at least move the guests to somewhere else…

Eureka! I got it!! Nanaki, Kiroku, Muneuji, Ushio, everything’s gonna be fine!

I got a giant database of disaster movies in my head, so I know a thing or two about dealing with emergencies!

Oh, but I don’t really know many romance movies… I got action movies and horror movies and sci-fi movies…

Whatever, just do it already!

Okay! Listen up, guys!

What’s going on? Akuta-kun shouted something out of nowhere, and now they’re all huddled around and whispering to each other.

Something seems amiss.

What’s happening? Is it over?

Really? But I feel like there’s still more. Maybe they ran into some issues.

Chief, let us promptly head backstage to check on everyone. The guests are becoming increasingly anxious.

Yeah, let’s go. I really hope nobody got sick or injured…

Wait. They turned around.

<⁠HYAAAAHAHAHAHA!⁠>

<⁠Hah… Haha… Hahahahaha! Aaaahahahaha! Haaahahaha!⁠>

Huh?

They seem to be laughing villainously.

(Wh-What are they doing?!)

<⁠W-We’re the ones who blew up the old school building! Did you really think you’d get to go home safely?!⁠>

<⁠…We… We’ll…blow up…this whole…⁠>

It’s okay. Leave it to me, Kinugawa.

Ah… Thank…you…

<⁠You arrogant fools… Have you forgotten that we are cold-hearted bomb-obsessed villains?⁠>

<⁠And to satisfy this uncontrollable urge… We have planted a bomb at this school.⁠>

<⁠If you don’t start running, you will be at our beck and call…to create bombs for us for the rest of your puny lives.⁠>

<⁠Hahaha…⁠>

<⁠HAHAHAHAHA! HAAAAHAHAHAHA!⁠>

Dude, he’s good.

I gotta ask him to star in my next movie!

Muu-chan do anything.

If we…cause too much…of a…panic…the kids…are gonna…cry…

(A bomb…? What? I don’t remember that being in the script.)

Those fucking bombers…! You gotta be kidding me! They’re crazy!

They’re just kidding…right? It’s all a big lie…

(The Asu High students are actually scared…)

(I know that they didn’t plant a bomb, so there must be a different reason why they’re doing this…)

<⁠You’ll all fall victim to us in time!⁠>

<⁠Sooo… SHOW YOURSELF! Student council president, Kuraku Yumenosuke!⁠>

Wha… What is it?!

<⁠Even someone as capable as you probably doesn’t have the evacuation route memorized, right? Huh?!⁠>

You villains! What are you saying?! There is absolutely no way that I, the student council president, would⁠—

Ah, hold on. Here’s a mic for you.

Ah, yes, thank you.

<⁠What are you saying?! There is absolutely no way that I, the student council president, would fail at memorizing the evacuation route!⁠>

<⁠Assemble! My student council!⁠>

Yes, President Kuraku!

Lead the evacuation for blocks A to D!

Yes, President Kuraku!

Put up caution tape in the areas that have become cramped due to the performance!

(His orders are so precise…!)

This way! Keep moving, and don’t stop walking!

Please watch your step! Calmly follow the person in front of you!

I got distracted by how well they’re evacuating, but… W-What are you doing?! Where did all of this come from?!

(It’s no use, I’m getting pushed away by the crowd…!)

Wait, Kafka and Sakujiro-san?! Gannosuke-san…! I lost all of them!

<⁠Please do as the student council says, everybody! Our other executives are on their way, so do not panic!⁠>

President Kuraku!

<⁠Kaguya-kun, evacuate block E⁠— Wait, no!!⁠>

<⁠You’re one of the bombers! Do NOT so brazenly associate yourself with my student council!⁠>

……

I…see.

Woah! Muneuji, dude, what’re you doing?!

I’m sorry. I reacted out of habit at his summons.

*sigh…* Jesus.

<⁠You’re a double agent, huh, Kaguya? Traitor…!⁠>

Huh?

Ohh.

<⁠I knew you were just the student council’s loyal dog! So get outta here already!⁠>

Uu-chan…

What’s goin’ on?!

I’ll explain later.

<⁠Wha…! I won’t be deceived…!⁠>

<⁠……⁠>

<⁠Don’t you dare look down on my student council. We don’t need the help of a bomber.⁠>

<⁠But… Kaguya-kun, handle block E.⁠>

…Understood!

…Here, over here… Onto my clothes…

…Hup… Okay…

…Welcome…home…egg…

Okay, let’s take it somewhere private!

Run!

Ahhhh, w-why is this happening?! Now everyone’s running off the stage!

Ahaha, we got a big panic on our hands.

Kafka! This isn’t the time for that!

Oh, it’s fine. This is nice every once in a while.

B-But!

I’m not sure what’s happening, but it’s really interesting, so I like it. ♪

Hurry, hurry, over here! AAAAHHHH, PASS! Someone take it!

Don’t fuckin’ throw it, dumbass! What if it breaks?!

It’s…okay… It’s…strong…

Not like it really matters now that it has legs!

Woah! *bump*

N’wohh…! Oof.

Sorry! We’re in a hurry! Bye!

Mmm…?

I foooound you!

Akuta, pass!

‘Kay!

Where are we going, dudes?! My heart’s boutta jump right outta my chest!

Ushio, pass!

You just started running with no plans?! *pant, pant…* Panda, pass!

Ugh… Dude, don’t throw that hard, it’s dangerous! Are we just running to wherever, then?!

Kiroku’s faster than I expected, so… *pant, pant…* I’m just followin’ him!

Are you kidding me?! Kiroku, pass!

Mm…!

<⁠Check, one, two…⁠>

<⁠Can you hear me, promising young men?⁠>

…Wait, is that…our principal?

What’s he doing here…?

<⁠I don’t know what that object you’re so intent on protecting and running around with is, but…⁠>

<⁠When in doubt, always run to the rooftop.⁠>

Ah…!

That’s it!