Be Good.1
GYAH!
My eyes!
?!?!
W-W-W-What on earth is thiiiis?!
……
……
……
…Di.
Display of obscenity!!
President Kuraku…
Is a briefs guy…
W-Why?! Why am I naked?! Why?! Why do I look like this?! This can’t be!
President Kuraku, please calm down. This is unsightly.
So, uh… Wait, huh? Where’s the explosion? What happened?
I saw a light, but… We’re all fine.
The…egg…
I don’t see it anywhere. Did it disappear?
Ahahahaha!
Who goes there?!
Euclidean Disassembly Insta-Undress Pen. A fantastic invention, if I do say so myself!
Human clothes are quite the hinderance, are they not? That GRRRIP they have on your throat is unbearable.
…Where…did you…?
Never mind that, who are you?! Where’d you come from?! The door’s over there…
And where’s the egg?!
Right here.
…That’s…!
I dunno who you are, but you gotta let go of it! It’s gonna explode!
Wait. The timer has stopped.
You’re right. It’s stuck in the decimals.
Did you stop it?
I wondery-doooo… ♪
How…did you…
Are you…
Are you part of the Yorozu…?!2
W-What’s that?
They are a secret service formed during the Cold War by the Japan Ground Self-Defense Force in order to organize intelligence agents for national defense.
Their agents are scattered throughout the globe to perform undercover special missions wearing civilian clothes, so their existence is shrouded in mystery. I’ve heard that in recent years, they have also been dealing with extraterrestrial threats behind the scenes to defend the country.
They are commonly known as…the Yorozu.
H-H-Hold on, is that real?
It has over one million views on dazzle.
Muu-chan!
I know you’re skeptical! But this service finds itself in every corner of the world, so it’s natural that they would make moves to defend Earth from extraterrestrial lifeforms!
So you’re saying that this guy is part of the Yorozu and that he came here to stop the egg and take the president’s clothes off?!
Let’s just ask the guy himself. Hey, is that true?!
Ahhhh, yes, yes. I am indeed part of the… Yoro…?
Yorozu?
Yes, the Yorozu!
I knew it!!
Well, if you say so, Muu-chan, then I’ll believe you.
(If I fail to choose my words carefully, I might be accused of concealment of misconduct and get shot out of the sky again…)
*gasp* They might punish us for getting in the way of their mission. What if they take us away to silence us…?
Huh? Would they really?
Are they gonna confine us in a white room?!
Negative. I promised Principal AI that I would not go further than recapturing my object.
AI…?
Ahhh, it’s been so long since I moved in a non-bipedal way that I’m starving.
Now that I have this back, farewell.
W… Wait…!
A-Are…you…taking the…egg…?
That is what I came here to do.
Can I…say goodbye…?
Oh, it would be a bother to see you crying like a little baby.
*egg moves*
Ahh, fine.
Ah…! It can…understand…you?
It says it came all this way to say goodbye to all of you.
For the sake of this child, I will limit it to one word per person. I’m sure it will die of boredom after a few taps.
Thank you…for being…with…us. Don’t…get sick.
I don’t think it even could. Hopefully your owner keeps you clean. Thanks.
See you again…I guess.
Parting with you is sorrowful, but I’m very glad you found your way back to your owner. Thank you for everything. Take care.
……
I thought that you were something God gave me to turn the tables.
But I was wrong.
I’ll be okay without you. Thanks for making me realize that!
*egg moves*
Are you done? Are you?
Then farewell! Let us rendezvous once again before we all perish!
He just left through the door…
Weird. He called our principal “Principal AI,” right?
What does…that mean…?
Y-You…
Oh, frick. I forgot about the prez.
I see he put his clothes back on.
L-Listen! Do not speak of what happened here to anyone!
Th-Th-Th-This event does not exist and has never existed in my grand life plan!!! Right?! Yes, that’s right!!
Excuse me! *running*
……
Ummm…
Is it all over?
…Think…so.
…Pfft.
Dude, wait… Haha…
Hahaha…
Ahahahahahahaha!!
God… Ushio, your face was so funny when the prez took the egg!
And you got that lisp again! You always talk like that when you start panicking.
Shut up… You were making stupid-ass faces every second.
Kinugawa, I’m proud of you for not crying when you bid your goodbyes. You’re very strong.
……
Maaan, now that it’s all over, I’m super hungry! We gotta do an afterparty, right? Let’s do it!
Yeah!
Hi-shi-o! Hi-shi-o!
…Shi-o…
Dude, we can’t get those here.
What’s up, Muu-chan?
Ah, the days have been getting shorter…
Footnotes
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A famous line from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982). ↩
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“Yorozu” (万, よろず) is Japanese for “ten thousand”, or “everything”. ↩