BAE BAE Spot!
(Next on our schedule is Ward 12. Our ride was arranged smoothly… And they even offered to have our shopping bags delivered to our homes… Not bad.)
Hm?
*pant, pant…* GH, MY HEART…!! Just like…CUPID…!!
Just like cupid with an arrow…I’ll take a love shot from Natsuyaki Chihiro…!1
A-Are you alright? You’re worrying me with how much you’re shaking.
Yes, I’m alright…!! When I think about getting to meet my ult, I just…!!!
This level of excitement is my default setting for Chii!! HAAAAAAAGGGHH!!
A-Ah, I see…
(Hopefully he doesn’t have a heart attack before we even get to meet the mayor…)
WE’RE HERE!! We’re finally HEEEEEEERE!! Lo and behold, the Kingdom of Chiiiiiii!!!
Let me open my tour app here…
<Hiyaaaa! ☆ Hasacchi and Kodaman! Welcome to Chii’s little country, GAL’S KINGDOM! I hope you have tons of fun today! ♪>
Ooorrrgh… *thud*
Urgh, h-hey!! Pull yourself together! L-Lord, you’re heavy…!!
M-My god… I can now die with no regrets… My grave will rest here….
W-We’ve barely even entered… Please get up already…
<Geez! Kodaman! I implore thee to stand up and enjoy my kingdom posthaste!>
<King Chii’s gonna be your guide for today! Let’s have some fun! ♪>
Yes, of course!!! Kodama, up and at ‘em!!!
*wheeze, wheeze…* What on earth…
<Aw, Kodaman, you’re wearing pink. ♪ We’re totes twinning right now! ☆>
Hrng… I can’t see through my tears… The C in Chihiro stands for “Caught us twinning! ☆”
<Hasacchi, that hat is like, sooo stylish! ♪ You look so super handsome in it. ☆>
Why, thank you.
(I see he intends to curry favor through compliments… Indeed, it is very nice to be treated kindly with a smile… No, I can’t let him get to me with this…)
<There’s a whole ton of photo spots that Chii really loves in here. ♪ Let’s take lots of pics together! ☆>
YES, PLEASE!!! I’ll take a billion of them, if I can!! Please lead the way, Chiiiii!!!
Ah, hold on! Slow down…!
<‘Kay! Let’s do this thing! ♪>
*wheeze, pant…* D-Did we really need to take so many…?
Every picture of Chii has a slightly different expression!! My precious…!!
<Hasacchi, are you okay? You tired? Want some of Chii’s fave ice cream?>
I-Ice cream…?!
<Yep, we got our kingdom special gal pink soft serve! You should totally try some.>
Ahem. W-Well, if you absolutely insist. I shall try it.
Thank you so much! Enjoy your GAL’S KINGDOM special ice cream!
Mrg… The flavor is simple, but…
(That’s what makes it delicious…! It reminds me of my childhood…)
<We all loved soft serve when we were kids, right? ♪ I remember totally wanting to get that perfect swirl!>
Yes, precisely…!
Chii!! He’s usually such a bubbly and cute gyaru, but now we get to hear an emotional story about his childhood!!
I’m so glad I’m a Chii bias…!!
You’ve been crying since we arrived…
<Now you get to meet the real me! ♪ See you then! ☆>
Over heeeere! Let’s take some puri stickers together! ☆2
Chihiro-kun…! I can’t believe we got to take pictures with you!
It’s like a dream come true… I’ll treasure these stickers forever…
I-It’s the real… The real Chii…!! He’s actually in front of me…!!
‘Kay, step right on up, gentlemen! ☆ As king, I command thee to take photos with Chii!
Y-Yes, Your Majestyyyyy!!!!
Okay, here we gooo! Say Chiise!
Puri stickers… They’re a relic of the 2000s, but have been seeing newfound popularity lately… I’ve never done this before.
A purikura with Chii…! Urk!!! *thud*
I can die happy…
A-Again with this?!
Agh… The C in Chihiro stands for…“Cutie super miracle idol Natsuyaki Chihiro”…
G-Get up already!! We still have the hospitality live show to attend!
*gasp* You’re right! I must live to see Chii’s show!!! I see… I see the light…!!
We are now at Ward 13!! Kinouchi Tao’s ward!
I suppose I can use my app here as well.
<Oh… Hey, thanks for coming. In this part of the tour, you’re gonna participate in a paintball game, so feel free to choose a gun that you like from the choices.>
Kinouchi Tao! Sometimes lovingly called Taotao, he seems unassuming, but he’s actually a gun-loving paintball master!!
He quietly but surely attracts fans with the charming gap between his ordinary appearance and his beautiful singing voice!
He’s also close with Chii and they’re often stanned as a pair… Mrgg… I’m not at all jealous…
<Hmm, I think the two of you should form a team. You’re both pretty fit…>
<The field is built to provide a lot of changes in altitude and spots for cover, so I suggest that Hassaku-san goes for the sniper rifle and Kodama-san takes the shotgun.>
<Hassaku-san can intimidate the opponents while Kodama-san moves in to attack while they’re distracted. There are a lot of beginners in this game, so it’s alright if you want to play things a little boldly.>
Hm… I can’t say I’ve ever played paintball before…
<It’ll be alright. I know you can do it, Hassaku-san.>
Th-There is iiiiis!! Kinouchi Tao’s casual rizz!! He’s so reserved, but he’s actually a smooth talker who can get you falling for him in an instant if he catches you off guard!!
<I’ll be giving you advice on your app every now and then.>
MRMMM!!!! That was incredibly fun!!!
(I have to agree… I was able to clear my mind…)
<Both of you did really well. I’m glad you enjoyed yourselves.>
Hm! Of course we did!!
<I’d really like to join you next time. See you later.>
Good job out there. I was watching you from my screen, and you were really good.
Y-You were watching?! Well, it was all in a day’s work for me…!!
You didn’t even really need my advice.
W-What are you saying?! You created a new life for yourself through your paintball skills! There’s no need to be so humble!!
…Yeah. You’re right, Warden Kodama. Thanks for always coming to see us.
Wha— I am not Kodama Tatsuji, the head warden at the Monkey Cage….!! I’m just one of Ev3ns’ oldest fans!!!!
(Everybody already knows your real identity…)
(Now that I look around, there seem to be a lot of tourists standing near the exit and talking to their Kinouchi Tao holograms…)
Raito’s my bias, so… *sob* I just don’t wanna embarrass myself in front of him…
(I-Is she crying?!)
<Raito-san wouldn’t denounce a fan for something like that. He’d love to meet you.>
(The hologram is comforting her…?!)
I just can’t get along with my boss… Maybe I should find a new job…
<You should try and talk to them. But I get it, it must be really hard to work for a boss like that…>
(Th-The holograms are giving out advice everywhere I look…!)
As expected. Kinouchi Tao is known as the ideal male friend, after all…
You just can’t resist such a friendly guy like him!!
(Hmm, idols are expected to do a lot, I see. They’re doing well, I suppose…)
Footnotes
-
In the original, Kodama says that his muscles are boiling and his blood is dancing in excitement, using the words 肉沸き血踊ろ (nikuyaki chiodoro), which sounds similar to Natsuyaki Chihiro. This phrase is based on 血沸き肉躍る (chi waki niku odoru), which literally means “blood boiling, muscles dancing,” but is a phrase to express shaking in excitement. Kodama altered this phrase to match Chihiro’s name. To preserve the pun, I’ve decided to change the sentence to rhyme arrow with Chihiro. ↩
-
Puri stickers (プリシール) are small sticker photos you often get from purikura booths. A purikura booth is a type of photo booth where you can decorate your photos with various filters, stickers, and text. The booth will often give your photos to you in the form of small stickers once you’re done. They were introduce to Japan in the 90s and were a part of gyaru culture in the 90s and 2000s. ↩