*pant, pant…*

(I need to find a place to wash my hands… I can’t use our room, since Brother Dearest is in there.)

(My bedsheets were sticky too. I tried to hide them with the comforter, so I hope he doesn’t notice…)

Ugh…

(There’s sticky stuff under my nails too… It smells like meat… Is it liver pâté? But that was just a drea⁠—)

Toi?

Ah… Yodaka-san and Chief.

You’re walking around barefoot. Is something wrong?

(He’s hiding his hands…)

……

B-Bathroom…

It’s alright. You can come to my room, my boy.

Are you done? You can use this towel to dry your hands.

You can use these slippers too.

Um, thank you so much…

(…I hope I cleaned all of it off. I’m not sure if I got it out from under my nails.)

(I don’t smell weird, right…?)

Toi-kun, do you wanna rest here for a little bit? Well, this is Nagi-kun and Yodaka-san’s room, so I can’t speak for them, but…

Please, feel free. I’ll brew you some tea.

Thank you.

……

Oh, I was just going around and sharing the snacks that we didn’t eat during our drive earlier.

I have some raisin and buttercream cookies. Do you want one?

Ah…

(I love these cookies.)

(But I’m not sure if I can eat them. I…don’t want to throw up again.)

……

Toi-kun, you don’t have to talk if you don’t feel comfortable with it. You don’t have to eat either, okay?

Ah, um… Ahaha…

I’m…sorry.

You don’t have to apologize.

Here’s some tea for the both of you. It’s decaffeinated, so it won’t affect your sleep.

Wow, it smells amazing…!

…It does.

(I can at least still drink things.)

Thank you.

*sigh…*

It’s so relaxing.

…Mm.

(Ah… If I say anything now, I feel like I’ll say too much. I’ll end up saying everything.)

I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

……

……

Toi-kun, I may just be imagining this, but…

If something’s bothering you and you can’t bring it up to Ryui-kun, then by all means, let us know about it.

…! Um, that’s…

……

(Toi-kun… Something’s definitely weighing heavy on his mind.)

Ryui, didja come out here t’ Aomori to do somethin’ about this’un here?

…Yeah. I wanna know where they came from, and how I can get ’em outta Toi’s body.

(I understand that Ryui-kun wants to free Toi-kun from something. I really, really do. But…)

(Does Toi-kun feel the same way…?)

……

…Lately, everything I eat has been…tasting really bad.

Even though I usually love raisin buttercream cookies…

Ah, I see… I’m sorry that I kept forcing food onto you.

It’s okay. It’s not your fault, Chief. I was able to eat everything like normal up until recently…

This must be very hard on you.

Well… There’s not much I can do. Not of my own will…

(Ever since Aa-chama started inhabiting me, I haven’t been able to stop our assimilation.)

Because I’m…going to change.

(Change…)

……

I’m…so scared.

I’m so scared that I’ll never be able to go back to the way I was…

(Just like how all humans will eventually wither and fade away, as long as time keeps moving forward, I can’t ever stop this change.)

Because then I… I…

(It’s not just the color of our hair. Eventually, even everything inside of me…)

I won’t match with my dear brother anymore…!

Toi-kun…

(I’m sure that these “changes” Toi-kun’s mentioning aren’t just the typical changes that come with growing up…)

(I want to understand how he feels. Even if it’s just a little bit…)

…Toi.

I also feel as if I’ve slowly been changing as of late, so I somewhat understand how you feel.

It’s not always pleasant to be pushed into the unknown at a pace faster than your own. As the seasons change at a dizzying pace, sometimes the heart cannot keep up.

But since we only live on this planet for a limited amount of time, being pushed to do something without the chance to delay it isn’t always unpleasant.

……

…But these are lessons that I’ve only learned very recently. I’m not sure if I’m helping you feel more at ease by saying this.

It’s okay…

Have you thought about what you plan to do after you change?

After…?

If you can’t avoid these changes you’re going through, then it might not be a bad idea to start thinking about what you can do after the fact.

I myself have started to believe that time should always move forward.

……

(But if I change, it’ll all be over…)

(Because I know that Brother Dearest would never accept the ugly version of myself that I’m turning into.)

This is…so hard…

Hup… Okay. This should be enough for today.

Hachinoya!

Hm? What’s wrong, Ryui?

Have you seen Toi?! He wasn’t in our room when I came outta the showe⁠—

Ah, Toi’s in my room. Yodaka-san just sent me a message about it.

Oh… What’s he doin’ there?

He told me that they were having a discussion with the chief, so I can do something else to pass the time until I can come back.

…Alright, I guess I can trust the two of ’em…

Whatcha got those flowers and the vase for anyway?

Oh, this is… Yeah. Do you want one? A flower, I mean.

Nah. Seeya.

Ryui.

Huh?

You should rely on us some more.

……

Maybe we can help you if we all joined forces, just like how we were able to move the van because we all pushed it together.

It moved, like, five fuckin’ centimeters.

Those five centimeters were a big accomplishment for us.

Hah…

Ryui⁠—

S’fine. Just leave me alone.

……

Huh…?

(My bedsheets are clean. But I thought I left them all sticky.)

Toi, you wanna sleep together?

Yeah…

*sniff, sniff…*

(My nails don’t smell weird anymore either.)

What’s up?

It’s nothing.

I, um…had a scary dream.

I gotcha. Sweet dreams, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.

Brother Dearest, could you say that again?

Sweet dreams, sleep tight…

Again, again… Hold me closer.

You’re alright, Toi. Nothin’s gonna getcha as long as I’m here. Absolutely nothing…

(Ahh… Right.)

(All of that was…just a dream…)