Unaligned Happiness

L4mps Stage

L4mps stage

Nagi

<⁠Is everything okay?⁠>

Kaede

Sorry, I haven’t found Yodaka-san yet…!

Nagi

<⁠Mm, that’s alright. I’m used to being in situations like this.⁠>

Kaede

B-But… There are only seven minutes left!

Nagi

<⁠It’s the opposite. There are still seven minutes left.⁠>

Kaede

……

Nagi

<⁠You still have seven minutes, so could you spend two of those minutes taking some deep breaths and hearing me out?⁠>

Kaede

O…kay.

Nagi

<⁠I’m going to ask Toi to figure out where Yodaka-san is. Once he finds out, I want you to go to him. Do you know where the company van is parked?⁠>

Kaede

I-I think so.

Nagi

<⁠Netaro sent its location to your phone, so if you’re not sure, you can check that. Buchi-san is heading towards the van with Yodaka-san’s outfit, so once you take it from him, you can take the van out.⁠>

<⁠Does that sound okay so far?⁠>

Kaede

Um, so I have to go to the company van, take the outfit from Manager Daniel, and head to Yodaka-san’s location, right…?

Nagi

<⁠Yep. I’ll let you know if we can figure out his location. He won’t make it back in time for the show either way, so please drive safely. Ah, and I’ll tell Kafka about all of this too.⁠>

Kaede

Thank you…! B-But…

Nagi

<⁠Hm?⁠>

Kaede

(It sounds ridiculous, but if Yodaka-san deliberately decided to not show up, then…)

If… If Yodaka-san says that he doesn’t want to come back…

Nagi

<⁠Hm… I see.⁠>

Kaede

(I know that saying this doesn’t help the situation, but Nagi-kun’s so calm about it that I just ended up voicing my concerns to him…)

Nagi

<⁠You can take his place on stage.⁠>

Kaede

What…?!

Nagi

<⁠I’m just kidding.⁠>

<⁠But, yeah. If that happens, give me a sign from the audience. We’ll think of what to do together.⁠>

<⁠I think we can take it one battle at a time. Too much panicking will be bad for you, so be careful.⁠>

Kaede

O-Okay… Thank you, Nagi-kun.

Backstage

1

Nagi

Alright.

Now we just need to figure out how to handle things until Yodaka-san gets here.

Ryui

Wait…! I’m not just gonna let you ask Toi to do that!

Toi

I’ll do it, Brother Dearest!

Ryui

No! You can’t figure out someone’s location without using their power.

I ain’t gonna let you⁠—

Toi

Well, I want to do it!

Ryui

!

Toi

Brother Dearest, I’m proud of my divination powers. They don’t make me unhappy. I at least want to use them to figure out Yodaka-san’s location…

So…let me and Aa-chama do this.

Ryui

…!

Netaro

Gii! I’ve captured the human you asked for!

Tao

Well, here I am, but… What’s going on? Did you run into some trouble?

Nagi

Thanks for capturing him quickly, Netaro… Tao, thanks for coming.

Tao

Y-Yeah. Um, Hachinoya-san, your expression’s kinda freaking me out…

Nagi

Tao, you told Chihiro that you liked Zoubana Memorial in the bath the other day, right?

Tao

Oh, the manzai duo? Yeah, I did.

Nagi

What a coincidence. I like them too. We should form a manzai duo in their likeness. The stage for our first performance is already set. It’s right there. Let us walk down the glorious path of manzai comedy together.

Tao

……

WHAT?! Wait, no, I⁠—

Nagi

Tao, neither time nor youth will wait for us forever. We must move forward, towards the path of manzai comedy.

Tao

Why?!

Ryui

Hachinoya… The fuck is goin’ through your head?

Just so you know, I ain’t forget about that shitty speech you gave at our inauguration ceremony!

If you try to do a manzai routine with that dry-ass sense of humor, you’re gonna kill someone. I ain’t gonna say anythin’ too mean, so just come up with something e⁠—

Nagi

What else is there? I know it’s reckless, but I’m serious about this.

Ryui

…Well…

Nanaki

‘Scuse me… Are you sure we’re okay to start the sound…?

Kinari

If Natsume-sama is able to return within 10 minutes, I recommend we delay the show.

Tao

S-So what now? Am I supposed to go out there?! Like, actually?! I’m not a Night Team member, and I’ve only ever watched manzai!

Ryui

Grrr…!

Nagi

Do you have any other ideas?

Ryui

Kh… Fuck!!!

Go back, Kinouchi.

Tao

Huh…?

Ryui

Toi.

Toi

Mhm…?

Ryui

You wanna do this for yourself, right? Not for me or the Night Tea⁠—

Toi

It’s for myself. I want to do this.

Ryui

…I don’t wanna hold you back from doin’ something you wanna do. Your wishes are my first priority. And…

If you use your divination powers, it’ll help me out too… That okay?

Toi

*gasp* Yeah! Leave it to me, Brother Dearest!!

Ryui

Nanamegi, start the sound. And Azekawa, handle the lighting.

If Hachinoya’s gonna die on this stage, I’ll die with him. That’s all.

Nagi

So manly.

2

Ryui

Duh. You just realized that now, dumbass?